Not Again.

Today I am going to embrace what I have
All I have
I know there is more to come. 
I know inherently in my mind that things will get better.
I don't want to stay in this coma for the rest of my life
I pray to G-d everyday that things will get better, 
and I know they will. 
I have a great amount of blessings.
I just wish it was easier. 
But I know.. that nobody ever said it was going to be easy.
But who would have known that I would get knocked down so many times? 
Who would have known that I would have such a soft heart so easily wounded?
I hope the wounds aren't permanent; hope they aren't scars. 
I don't want to scarred up. 
I have to save myself for the person that really matters-- not all these other flakes who try to waste my time. 
I need to trust my instincts about people. 
If I feel like they are going to hurt me, they probably will. 
Some people are just careless and this is a fact. 
Some people are self righteous and feel that they deserve a piece of someone else, namely me. 
But they don't.
Only I can assert myself in this way, however. 
I'm so giving is the truth. 
Giving myself to basically anyone who asks. 
I want to share what I have. 
Everything I have. 
Until it is all gone, and there is none left for me.
None left for my family
None left for my friends. 
None left for the one who I will ultimately love. 
This, however, will all be changing soon. 
If you want me
You have to fight for me. 
Otherwise, I'm not giving myself up. 
People go to college for 6, 7, 8, sometimes 10 years-- so if it is me they want, they can be persistent and try for it. 
Nobody is going to take me anymore. 
I'm not giving up any pieces of myself. 
No more.