sometimes

Sometimes when it's late

I lie in bed and think of you 

I think of the times you rubbed your fingers through my hair

And made me scream

I think of the pocket of love

In which we resided

I think of our aura

Which was a lovely shade 

I think of all the things we could have been

Should have been 

Perhaps

But weren't 

We fought like cats and dogs and spat in each other's faces

We ripped out hair out

And our Vains popped out of our heads like delirious clowns

You owned my heart and I owned yours 

But we were reckless in love and my heart is worn and jaded from loving you 

My hands gripped you so hard and never wanted to let you go

The force of the greatest tidal wave wouldn't loosen my grip

I reached for you on the darkest nights

And you were there

Mostly 

Luckily you held me

When I sobbed my eyes out from some deeper problem you never could have known 

But somehow you did

And i never understood how

You could listen to me talk for hours 

And get my soul

But now

You look at her like you looked at me

And that is painful to see

Your love for me seems to be gone

Like the shutter speed of your DSLR

there lies a pile of ashes we're our love used to be

I feel

I feel we're reaching for something that is no longer there

It was but so much has changed; we have evolved 

It's tough to see what has happened to us

And i believe it has

I can see pretty clearly because 

My vision is 20/20 

I'm kind of a mind reader too, and my intuition is strong 

Because of this my heart is a little sad 

But at the same time we were never truly looking in the same direction, I don't think

Our love was the only thing holding us together 

But apparently that fades, too.

Oh the irony

The irony of life love and the pursuit of happiness 

It's hard chasing after a light that once was 

And then you open your eyes and see it's not there anymore

You're grasping at this air with nothing more than a cloud of dust

But somehow there is hope

In the distance 

She waves her brilliant flag and releases her warmth where you thought you would be in the Icey cold, outside of the igloo where we used to reside 

But somehow hope is there and she warms us both

We are both deserving of a good life, I can tell you that. We are both pure but in different ways. 

I admire your heart, from afar but maybe not best intertwined with mine. 

You're happy now I can feel

It

You're no longer scared and grasping for me. You have released me. And that is good.